GATHER YE ROSEBUDS etc, but in my case:SNAILS


 2014 084

where’s the Escape Route?

I wonder how you start your day?

I’ll lay you a small bet you’re not out in your garden, poking around in the undergrowth with your trusty braai-tongs, SNAIL HUNTING in the cool, early morning hours. Let me tell you that snails emerge from their shelly homes while the dew is still on the leaf, and they come out brandishing their knives and forks, starving for greenery …. my greenery, my plants – what’s left of them, that is. Those snaily jaws are munching manically every morning and not only on the plants, but on the paintwork on the walls and patio. If my entire house disappears,  it will be due to the ravenous molluscs. So out I go, cursing steadily while bending my aching back, but its Woman versus Garden Pests, and the war is on. My daily harvest fills up an empty 500ml yoghurt carton. Daily, mind you. The reproductive power of the snail is truly terrifying. Sometimes I wonder if my garden isn’t infected with a genus of super-snail that will eventually munch the rest of us out of existence. Forget about changing climate, Fukushima, political mayhem and the rest of it. It’s the snails that have got me worried!

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3 Comments

Filed under ECOLOGY, HUMOUR

3 responses to “GATHER YE ROSEBUDS etc, but in my case:SNAILS

  1. Eileen Turner

    Hey, we have those here, too, Alison. The problem is what to do with them, having collected them!

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    • I virtuously walk to the nearby canal/green belt, and re-home the snails. A friend told me that it has been scientifically proven that they are great travellers and can, and do, return to their original location. Horrors!

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  2. Yes, I fear they will come back but hey, it’s good to have an enemy. My mother’s problem was slugs but she wasn’t as caring: the only good slug is a dead slug, according to her, and she ground them into the soil with gusto. Shortly after she died, they had their revenge: they somehow got access to her house and left slime trails all over the carpet.

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