WOMAN v.s BLACK PLASTIC RUBBISH BAG


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I am overwhelmed by the pandemic, I just need a little light relief. So that’s why I’m posting this piece today, written earlier in the year. Trivia, and inconsequential in the greater scheme of things, but … we all need a break.

These damn bags defeat me every time.
Despite the fact that I have opposable thumbs, a 1400 gram brain sitting inside my skull, and belong to the species that has travelled to outer space, removing a fresh black, plastic bag from the roll of new bags, and unfolding it to put into the kitchen rubbish bin always turns into ten minutes of sweaty frustration and bad language.

 
For openers, tearing the bag off the continuous roll is a challenge. Yes: there are perforations which – theoretically – tear along the dotted line and liberate one black bag. Except the perforations often don’t cooperate, causing me to hunt for scissors, snip it off, and (usually) succeed in creating an unwanted hole in a brand new bag. Sigh. Let’s try again. Maybe Bag #2 will permit me to remove it from its parent roll.
Okay. So now I have one creased new black bag in my hand. But now to unfold it. Umm. Where do I start? The folding pattern would baffle an Origami Master. The folding mechanism in the plastic bag factory must have been designed by goblins or aliens. Take your pick. Finally I persuade the folds to unfold, and voila, a new bag ready for the bin.

 
Except there’s one final test. You’ve all been baffled by this one, I’m sure. How to persuade the bag to open? Pull, tug, shake, rub, do what you will, you cannot get the two layers of plastic to part. But there’s a secret. And I will share it: lick your thumb and forefinger, and now rub the top join, where the bag should open. It just might! Success, at last!

 
Another precious ten minutes sliced away by time, into the garbage bin of my life, which I begrudge. I could have been occupied with something pleasant like reading a book, or something useful, like sorting out my latest credit card bill, but no: ten minutes wasted in Round # 493 in the uneven contest of Woman v.s. Garbage Bags. And don’t ask who won. Grrrhhh!!

15 Comments

Filed under DAILY LIFE IN CAPE TOWN, HUMOUR

15 responses to “WOMAN v.s BLACK PLASTIC RUBBISH BAG

  1. How nice to read something- anything- that doesn’t have the word Corona or Virus in there somewhere! I totally identify with these. $##$R plastic bags too. Thanks for the smile, Alison

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dawn Rae

    Loved this, Alison 😂 it is so true.
    I actually look for rolls of black bags that say ‘interleaved’. They’re a bit more expensive but generally better behaved.

    Like

    • I regret to inform you that there is no such thing as a well-behaved black plastic bag. You are deluded. Probably due to lack of carbon monoxide in the air.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Ooh! I have seen those interleaved rolls too – they have made such a difference. Alison, like you, I often struggle with the darn perforations; and when the brandnew bag tears, I’ve even resorted to sticky tape and making little knots in the holey bit, as I don’t want to waste a single bag… but then you can’t fill them up properly, or the weight of the waste will tear the repairs… Argh!

      But when it comes to unfolding them, oh, I know exactly what you mean! Even if you think the whole thing is now properly unfolded, you’ll suddenly discover there are more sections stuck together… !

      Thanks for the chuckle, I needed that today!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Pamela Gillbee

    Had a good laugh Alison. I have the same issue with black bags!! Hope that you are keeping well.

    Like

  4. Banned for life, I no longer use them. I’ve found the perfect 25L bags at Lidl which tear at the handles, so only 5cm of perforation and a daily walk to the bin. I created a new habit, now I only have that frustration in the fruit and vegetables dept but they’re moving back to paperbags, bravo!
    Thanks for the light relief and I hope you find a solution like Dawn suggests, I think it’s worth it!

    Like

  5. This started my day giving me a smile. Bless you fot that. I have the same struggle with the bags we are given to use fir food waste. They are biodegradable so incredibly flimsy you invariably tear a hole in it just getting it off the roll.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. The manufacturing and packaging processes for these bags are incredible. How do so many thin items fit neatly inside a box? It’s a miracle!

    Neil S.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Econogal

    Thanks for the smiles!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Love this Alison, a problem we all share. Good laugh.
    I tend to have another struggle, getting that black bag to fit snugly in the bin without the side falling in.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. And there was i thinking i was unique in not being able to put a bin bag in a bag in under 10 minutes.

    Like

  10. Been there! 😂Thank you go brightening my day! You’re the best Allison!

    Liked by 1 person

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