RANTING & RAVING : ELECTRONIC MISFITS

I’m feeling particularly grumpy at the moment on the subject of the electronic misfits who are causing me grief and pain, due to their inability to communicate electronically. In fact, they’re DRIVING ME NUTS.  And because I have my own blog, I have the luxury of ranting and raving about them to my heart’s content, possibly irritating my loyal readers in the process.  On the other hand maybe your lives are also being needlessly complicated by these social pests, and you may be applauding vigorously and shouting “Give that blogger a medal for telling it like it is!”

Here’s the Big Question: Why, oh why, do people give out their cell-phone numbers and their e-mail addresses if they have neither the intention nor the ability to use these tools? They will airily tell you, as if it were a laudable trait and they are much too busy and important to be bothered with such trivia:  Oh I never check my e-mail.  Or: I can’t be bothered with all those texts – it’s just a kids’ thing.  What they mean is: I don’t really understand technology and I’m too intimidated by it, or  too lazy, to learn to use it.

People –  here is a public broadcast: go to the nearest child, your grandchild, or anybody between the ages of 10 and 14 – and ask them to show you how. Trust me, they have texting down to a fine art. Watch them nimbly holding their phone in their palm, while texting rapidly with only two fingers of the same hand.

If you can’t understand the mechanics of e-mail, or can’t type, go on a course. Learn how! It’s not that difficult. You don’t have to be a wizard touch typist bashing away at 75 words per minute. Two fingers will do the trick.  In fact, I have a friend who is a professional writer, and he’s a two-finger typist. He churns out articles, book reviews and novels quite nicely thank you, despite his two-finger technique.  He also refuses to own a cell-phone, due to his hearing defect.  Now I have no problem with this approach: you can phone the man up on his landline and either he, or his answering machine will take the call.  Send him an e-mail, and you get an almost instant response. This is called communicating.

I send you a message, and you respond. As a system it works beautifully. Where the system breaks down is when people give you their cell-phone number, and then never respond to your text messages. Or they dish out their e-mail address and never check their mail, and your enquiries languish unseen and unanswered.

You may be wondering why I don’t phone up these electronic sluggards?  The reason is simple economics.  The cost of voice calls on my cell-phone and landline are very expensive, and I’m a pensioner, on a limited budget.  Text messages and e-mails are remarkably cheap, plus they are easy and above all, quick.

So, in conclusion: if you are a closet technophobe, unable to use electronic media effectively, then please, please, I’m begging you: don’t hand out your contact details.  You are causing endless delays and complications. And you’re sending my blood pressure into the stratosphere.

There. I’ve said it.  The chances of the culprits reading my rant are minimal. Because of their technophobia they will no more log on to this blog than fly in the sky unaided.

As for the rest of you – thank you for listening so patiently.